​​Robin Y. Coté 

Author & Motivational Speaker


Robin Cotè - Author


I am truly grateful that I am known as someone who speaks the truth and speaks her mind. I won't hold back. It can be a scary thing for most people because they constantly second-guess what they think, feel and say. They are always worried what others will think about what they do or say. I have to be comfortable with me and what I do and say first and foremost. I don't deliberately set out to hurt anyone with my words or actions. I always tell those closest to me that they may not like what I have to say and they may not want to hear it, but I will tell them straight up. I can sleep at night. I don't have nightmares about what if's. I have regrets in my life because I should have said things to certain people at certain times but the situations were difficult at the time where I couldn't say anything. I found a way to work through those situations in order to be able to use my voice and not only learn but help others as well. I am totally at peace with who I am. It's a great feeling! 

‪#‎GetRealWithRobin‬

Robin Cotè - Author


Let's tackle the age old question that is still relevant today: should I remain friends with my ex? In some cases you can but in most cases, it may not be the best thing for you. I believe that if there are children involved, then it's a good idea to try and at least be amicable to one another for the kids sake. In situations where there are no kids, it's a choice but it's one you really have to think about. Can you seriously get past what happened in the relationship that broke you up and remain friends? Sometimes it can take years before you can have a solid friendship because the pain is just too much to deal with. I have remained friends with a few people I've dated from years ago but I am not friends with any of the men I was married to and have divorced. They were very toxic people and our relationships weren't healthy. There is no way that I would ever try a friendship with them. If anyone in my past lied to me or cheated on me, I couldn't be friends with them either. Once the trust is ruined, it's very difficult to ever trust them again. If you've had a toxic relationship with your ex, you really have to consider that a friendship may not be the right thing for the two of you. Healthy friendships and relationships are so very important and if you find yourself in the middle of a toxic war, then you have to stay away from them and cut off all communication. The most difficult thing about getting over someone after a break up is that we still see so much out there on social media. Looking at their pics and statuses of what is going on in their lives since you split is not something you should do. It will do nothing but drive the hurt even deeper and cause you to not move on or heal from the hurt. My ex-husband is blocked from my facebook and I deleted someone I was involved with last year as well. I don't want to see what they are doing every day and I want to protect my heart. I had to move on. As should you. Take the time to heal and let yourself get over them completely before you can make the clear headed choice of whether or not you can be friends.

‪#‎GetRealWithRobin‬

Robin Cotè-Author   

Just in the past couple of days, the news here has reported two deadly incidents. One involved a young lady who met a man online through a dating service. She went missing and was found dead recently. They arrested the guy for killing her. Yesterday we had a wife who
called police to report a domestic violence situation. When the cops arrived at the home, no one was there. Apparently the couple left the home together in their car. Another phone call came in to police reporting an accident. They hit the curb during an argument. An innocent driver came along the scene and tried to rescue the wife from the abusive situation. The husband took out a gun and shot both his wife and the good samaritan, killing them both. Another situation reported this week was just as messed up but could have ended a lot worse given the circumstances. Several women were out at a resturant and they witnessed a man drug a young ladies beer when she left the table to go to the restroom. They immediately went to the restroom and told her what they witnessed. Kudos to them for paying attention or this young lady could have very well been raped or killed. I just have to say it. What the fuck is wrong with people in this world? Yes all three of these situations were crimes that men committed but don't bash men. This happens with women abusing and killing men too. We just don't hear about it as often. I'm really getting tired of hearing about these types of things happening. If you're not happy in your relationship, get out. DO NOT be afraid to let people know if you are in an abusive situation. There are plenty of ways to do this without the abuser knowing. Get help to get out! If you plan on dating people you meet on the internet, do your homework. There are many, yes MANY websites out there that can help you check out someone. I never leave my drink unattended when I'm out. I've been raped by someone who drugged me. NOT going to happen again! We have to be smart and take care of ourselves. That is the most important thing. 

‪#‎GetRealWithRobin‬

 Robin Cotè- Author  

Is your relationship literally making you ill? It has been proven that things which affect you emotionally, can have a physical effect on you as well. Do you ever notice that when you are stressed out, you begin to feel
likecrap. Your sleep is affected, you have a tough time concentrating and it can even effect your appetite. When you are involved in a toxic relationship, your health can definitely be affected. I have experienced this and I'm sure some of you have as well. For many years in my last relationship, I found myself with a serious nagging cough that felt like I was literally going to hack up my lungs. I would have coughing fits lasting up to 30 minutes on some evenings. You would have thought I was a heavy smoker or I had some sort of disease. It started in the third year of our marriage. I went to several doctors and no one could figure it out. Most thought it was allergies. Ok, so did that mean I was allergic to my husband? When I look back on it now, I would have to say most definitely! I'm not making a joke out of this because it was quite serious for me. I never had these serious hacking fits until the end of the day when he was around me. They usually happened right before we went to bed and after we had a disagreement of some sort or he would try to start a fight right before we went to sleep. I knew a few years after getting married to him that it was in fact a huge mistake. I couldn't get out at the time because of the financial situation. You've all read about it. That relationship was so toxic to my health. The day I ended the relationship was the best day of my life. No matter what I was faced with- closing the business, selling the house and filing for the divorce, it was the day that I regained not only my self-worth but my health turned around and I no longer had those horrible coughing fits. Here I am just a little over a year later and I have not had one coughing fit what so ever! It's amazing how removing toxic people can have a positive affect on your life, in more ways than one!‪ #‎GetRealWithRobin‬

Robin Cotè -  Author


I do believe there is truth to the saying "Everything happens for a reason." I had to face so much death at a younger age in order to give my late husband permission to leave us when his body was so badly taken over by cancer. I've had to face a lot of adversity in order to learn how to help others overcome it. And the list goes on...I'm not perfect. I'm merely human. I make mistakes...many in fact. I've learned how to correct my behavior in order not to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes in matters of the heart, I haven't been so lucky. I have repeated the same mistakes in that department but then again, I ended the situations a lot sooner because I did learn from the past mistakes. The biggest thing I've come to realize is that we do repeat the same mistakes over and over until the lesson is learned. It's life's way of teaching us the lesson the hardest way in order for it to stick. I'm grateful for what I have learned even if it did cause me heartbreak. At least I know that I can still feel and that is very important to me.  ‪#‎Truth‬ ‪#‎GetRealWithRobin‬

Robin Cotè - Author


Never deny what you feel in your gut. If something doesn't feel right, then usually it isn't. In this day and age, there's so much deceit that goes on within relationships. Not only friendships but also with lovers and in marriages. It's really hard to trust people when you feel in your gut that things are just not right. You want to give people the benefit of the doubt but the truth always comes out in the end. It's a hard pill to swallow when you find out you've been deceived by someone you care about. You have to learn to pay attention to the red flags and not look past them because you're afraid to be without that person in your life. I'm guilty of this too. I chose to ignore red flags and I ended up getting hurt. I'm a lot more cautious about that now. You were given that gut instinct for a reason. Make sure you pay attention when it talks to you.

‪#‎GetRealWithRobin‬

Robin Cotè - Author


I don't waste my time or energy speaking badly about people who have done wrong to me. I only state the facts. I don't waste my time spinning tales to make myself look good and I really don't care if they want to spin tales to make me look bad. I turn every negative into a positive. I really don't care what people think of me. I am who I am. I use my experiences in life to better myself and to help others along the way. What's the purpose of spending so much time on the day-to-day drama when you can use something as a teaching tool. So, like me, love me, hate me. Doesn't really matter what you think of me. I know who I am and I know what I'm here for. Nothing will stop me in my pursuit of helping others. I'm here to live, love, learn and teach.

‪#‎GetRealWithRobin‬

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Robin Cotè- Author

Yesterday I got to be a guest on Brian 'The Hammer' Jackson's radio show. I really enjoy the fact that he allows me the opportunity to be part of a really cool show where we discuss so many different things. We talked about everything: the Orlando kiliings, gun control, politics, religion and relationship issues. One subject came up that seems to be a real conflict between men and women. Brian asked if having phone sex with someone other than your partner was considered cheating. HELL YES IT IS! He also asked the panel if masturbating on webcam with anyone other than your partner was cheating. Again, HELL YES IT IS! What about watching porn? In my book, NO. Watching porn and taking care of yourself is not cheating. So, what's the difference? It's very simple. A movie is just that, a movie. You don't have any personal interaction with the porn star other than your own imagination and your own hand/toys. Webcam sex, phone sex, exchanging naked pictures and sexting with anyone other than your partner is in fact CHEATING. Some people seem to think that if you aren't in the flesh and inserting it into someone else, then you are not cheating. Sorry, but I disagree with that BIG TIME! I used to work with another DJ who would tell me that eating aint cheating. The hell it is! Kissing someone other than your partner is cheating. Crossing the line with over the top flirtation is cheating. Touching another person inappropriately is cheating. Sharing your problems with a member of the opposite sex who has feelings for you is in fact emotionally cheating. Trying to hook up with others while you are in a relationship is definitely cheating-whether the person agrees to it or not, you have made the decision to cheat already. You may disagree with me but how would you feel if your partner were doing this to you? I guarantee you would see it as cheating and have a problem with it. My ex-boyfriend obviously didn't get that and that's why he is an ex and no longer having sex with me. He lost a person who actually gave a damn about him and wouldn't cheat on him, even after his last two girls supposedly did and he made it a point to tell me several times over the course of our relationship. He made the choice for us to be exclusive yet totally disrespected me. I've moved on. He gave me no choice but to move on. What that whole thing did for me was show that it's really hard to have a trusting relationship today when the sexes view things so differently. For now, I see who I want, when I want, have sex with who I want and no one will break my heart again or disrespect me like that. If they try, they are gone...period. I don't waste time on people who can't respect the boundaries. I am worth it! ‪#‎GetRealWithRobin ‬‪#‎ValueYourOwnSelfWorth‬

‪#‎battleofthesexes‬ ‪#‎cheating‬

Robin Cotè - Author


My last major relationship was not a very healthy one. It was laden with so much emotional and verbal abuse that I even lost sight of who I was. Yes, I'm known to be a very strong person and it suprised even me how I ended up in yet another destructive and painful relationship. On the surface, everyone saw what they thought was a good relationship with a few problems like most couples have. They didn't really know what went on behind closed doors. There were a few people I had confided in but again, not everyone knew. I allowed him to put me in a prison cell with no way out. I felt trapped for several years and I didn't even recognize the person I had become in that relationship. There were several years where it became such a daily struggle. The hurtful words he constantly spoke just made the pain so much more unbearable. How could he say he loved me every day yet be so cruel in the same breath? I longed for a way out but I couldn't due to financial reasons. It was my credit that got us the house, the car, the truck and the business. Everything was in my name finacially. It all fell on me so I was stuck. I tried to change things so that the old me would be present again but it never worked. Only glimpses of my former self would come through from time to time. I put on the fake smiles while hiding the tears beneath the surface. There were days that I would take a shower and let the tears run down my cheeks along with the water. Things got real bad one weekend when his lying created major problems in our relationship yet again. I had exhausted myself with the arguing to the point where I had passed out and hit the floor. I came to and saw him sitting there on a chair playing on his cell phone. I asked him how long I was out on the floor. He said, "I don't know, maybe 25-30 minutes." I was dumbfounded with his answer. I asked why he didn't even call 911 or try to revive me. All he could say was I don't know. I realized that day that I had no other choice but to work on getting out of this relationship no matter what. I worked really hard over the next 4 years to get everything paid off. I paid off the car, the credit cards and dental work. We didn't owe on anything except the house. The company paid for the truck. When the time came for me to be able to get out, he changed yet again. He started acting nicer toward me. I thought we had begun to fix what was wrong and I forgot all about leaving him. Then it all came to a head last March. I had no choice but to finally end this nightmare of 11 years. When I look back on it all now, I wish that I had never married someone who so blatantly lied to me from the minute I had met him. It was a hard lesson learned and I feel as if I wasted 11 years of my life. Looking forward, I'm glad to be free of that prison cell and no matter what happens now in my life, I wake up each day and know that I am me once again. ‪

#‎GetRealWithRobin‬

Robin Cotè - Author


How important is your legacy to you? How do you want to be remembered? What will you leave behind and how will others react when you are no longer here? Yes, I know most of us have children and/or grandchildren to carry on our legacy but I'm thinking more about the impact you've made on others lives. For me, it's not so much of what people say or think about me. It's more that whatever I do in my life, I want to help and inspire others to have a better life. I want to show others that no matter what happens in your life, it's up to you to change things to have a better life. I want to be remembered as someone who never gave up or gave in, no matter how deep the shit got. I want others to know that they too can make something of their lives just by being true to themselves. There are so many terrible things in life as it is. We can't sit around wallowing about things we can't change. We can only do our best to make the changes in our own lives to better ourselves. No matter what happens in my life, I won't quit inspiring others to fulfill their dreams. I will always encourage everyone to make the best of a situation, learn from mistakes and become the best that they can be! I'm here to live, love, learn and teach! ‪#‎GetRealWithRobin‬

Robin Cotè - Author


Honesty is such a fragile thing. It can hurt someone deeply but it can also relieve the pain one is feeling in order to get past something and heal. Some people spend their lifetime being dishonest. Lying to others is so easy for them that they sometimes focus more on the lies than the truth and begin to believe what they lie about is actually the truth. The victims of their dishonesty begin to lose faith and trust. Their heart is burdened with those lies and dishonesty. Until they free themselves from the negativity, they will always be a casualty of the other person's lies and deceit. Trust is the most important element in any relationship and once the lies and dishonesty become the primary thing, trust is then tampered with and will always remain an issue. 

‪#‎GetRealWithRobin‬